Sorting Beads | Ways To Rock Citrine | Style Blog

This week in Quarantine I've been sorting beads. 

Why not, right? 

I actually enjoy tasks like this one. It allows me to soak in the details. I love seeing every bead one at a time and appreciating them individually. Every bead is different. Different color, shape, size, cracks, marks, rainbows, patterns, textures. All these differences, some similar, some completely opposite, all coming together in one heap of potential creativity.
I love it all. There's a comfort in finding a bead you recognize. Kind of like a familiar face. This chaotic mess of beads brings me so much peace even though it's a jumble of randomness. I love sitting and sorting them into different groups. Some are beads of the same variety. Some clusters are the same color. Some have a similar surface. 

This mass of little pieces inspires me immensely. 

It reminds me of life, humanity, our world, actions we need to take, thoughts we need to have, wisdom that needs to soak in. 

I started to sort one day when looking for sets of beads to make into DIY Citrine bracelet kits. 

 (So you can make bracelets while we're in lock down to save humanity from itself) 

Eventually I'd walk by the box of beads and not resist standing, stroking the beads with my fingers, running my hands through the bed of beads like the surface of water. 

The sounds of all these tiny bits moving mesmerized me. 

All the colors, shapes, and sounds capture my attention. 

Eventually I was on the floor with my notebook and headphones sorting out beads.

Writing in my journal the first draft of this blog. 

The first idea that came into my mind while sorting is that details matter.

Details are what make life fun and interesting!
When you get up close and personal with every moment of your life, it's easier to fall in love with every second. If you're not falling in love with every moment I recommend diving into the practice of gratitude.
There is no chance of losing ourselves if we are present in every moment with love. regardless of what you've lived through. we can express a range of emotions while still being in love with ourselves and life.
This kind of attention span requires us all to slow down, bask in the details, loving every moment for what it is. Loving ourselves for who we are. Picking ourselves up and our self esteem with it.  

Living in a world where people refuse to be immersed in their mind, body, and soul is quite harmful to watch. It's just plain out harmful. Wisdom tells me to bite my tongue because people need to learn lessons on their own but the mentor in me wants to scream at people for their carelessness. This carelessness and lack of responsibility for your life drove me nuts when I tried to live that way. The realization that you have a choice sets you free from a world that beats you into submission, before you have a chance to consider if you want to be treated this way in the first place. We decide how we are treated by what we allow people to do and say around us. I didn't sit back and ask myself what I want. I had no self esteem because I was raised to live in a world where I please others. Not the other way around. What I want and what I need was not a question I'd asked myself. So before it occurred to me that I have a choice, many traumatic things happened. I was unable to address these traumas and really learn from them until much later in my life.
I do not want to live in a world where things happen to me. 

I am an active part of my life. 

I can take my time making choices. I feel comfortable saying no. I don't do what I don't want to. My life is better for that. I am full of life energy, knowing some things aren't for me. That is okay. I don't need to keep people or things in my life that I do not want. 

Now that I've learned my lesson, I can see many people just sitting in their comfort zone, playing the victim, or acting fake woke about psychology. A place you are privileged to be. But this place we are clinging to is holding us all back from progress. Regardless of where we are in this life, I hope we treat one another with kindness, compassion and understanding. 

Shit, that's all I ever wanted in life. 

Beyond sorting beads, I've been sorting out my mind and my closet. This dress is from my older sister. She was getting rid of clothing, so she let me go through what she was getting rid of. When it comes time to do another shoot for my blog I use it as a time to style up my jewelry while cleaning out my closet. It's a great way to see what fits and what doesn't. 

The jewelry I am wearing is all from my next collection. I am not going to reveal the feature stone to you yet but in the mean time do you have a guess? It's not as obvious as you may think! This body chain has a bit of weight to it as the stone beads are quite large on this one. I am also rocking a few bracelets that connect from the wrist to a ring. These adornments are new designs that you're going to love. <3

So these shoes have quite a bit of history to them. They are the first pair of stilettos I purchased for runway! I bought them with my favorite husbands in Chicago from Akira. These babies have walked in countless shows in Chicago and were my shoe of choice for NYFW. When I showcased my fabrics and jewelry with 808GyptsyLove in 2018 I also walked in several shows as a model. We had a blast!

Sorting out your thoughts can be a complicated task, especially if you've let your mind become wild with ideas and unchecked fear. It's been a bit of a battle with fear lately but the tarot clearly told me to focus on spiritual aspects of life and be less insecure about finances. This message was relayed to me in more than one card last time I did a reading.  -- Either way fear of not having enough money can trigger a range of emotions but I've been working on managing the stress associated with being an artist full time. Life is better when we remain optimistic instead of dwelling on life sucking emotions, I feel my feelings but I don't sit inside them long. It's critical to get used to moving on. Pushing forward and getting creative instead of sad or fearful.  

To be honest, even though I haven't been able to pay rent, my spirits remain very high. I am grateful for what I have right now. That I've been able to sell a few DIY kits and custom pieces. I am grateful for the food I've been able to eat and the man I have in my life, by my side every day. I am grateful for the help we get from our families too. I know that at some point I'll be able to get back on my feet. I won't give up on what I am doing just because finances are hard during this pandemic. 

Nothing is really that different in my life right now other than that. We miss seeing our friends and creating with folks. I know we will see everyone soon though! We can still show each other that we care, in so many ways. 

It feels good to take a step back from relationships. Remembering moments fondly instead of constantly having them is a good way to soak in the details of life and who we spend time with. It's also nice to have people reaching out asking if you are okay or wishing you good health. Stay well friends. Don't forget to stop yourself from moving too fast in your life and mind.