LBC - Self Discovery - Surviving Your Twenties

Just got home from Long Beach.
I am ready for some serious leveling up.
While out in LBC I realized how sad I've been for multiple reasons. 
But being with people I love & Trust gave me the space to realize how many painful layers I needed to shed. 
How I haven't been loving myself.
That I needed to be with my closest and oldest friends.

Sharing your pain or insecurities with people you can trust is very helpful in moving on from the past.
Leave it in the past where it belongs. 
Move forward.
Surround yourself with loved ones, even when you feel down.
Know when you need help from others. 
Don't be afraid to express yourself.  

I've been very candid about my insecurities because we all deal with them differently but everyone has them. 
Social media tends to display only happiness, success, the good life, but I know every moment of life is not sparkly. 
It's exhausting to try to keep up when dealing with anything other than those emotions or activities. 
Some times we need a shoulder to cry on or a good long conversation. 
This is all shit we don't get on a regular basis.
Maybe that's part of surviving your twenties. 

Some times we need to take a break. 
We all definitely need to slow down. 
Rushing usually is not a good idea. 
It reminds me of k-12 trying to meet deadlines or get to class on time. 
I can't rush my healing. 
I can't be who I am not. 
I can't paint a smile on all the time to satisfy the world.

How many times have I bent over backwards for people who don't even ask me how I am once a year?
I can't give myself and my time to people who don't care about me.
Especially moment of the past. 
My work is too important for that. 
Up and forward as I've always said.

I realized in LBC that I needed some serious time to work on my mind & move past some of my old memories. 
To rewrite my feelings toward evens I could not change. 
For some reason I've been very down & sad. 
I feel like I've lost.
Lost what, I am not sure. 
But I was feeling like a serious no body.
A loser. 

This feeling was taking a lot of energy from me. 
It is easy to forget yourself while remembering or reliving your past. 
Stepping away from everything I do and the spaces I know gave me the ability to meditate on my next steps while working on my mind. 

I smoked myself into my most vulnerable state. 
I faced my mental fears.
I realized where I was hurting & started mending. 
Weed, Friends & sunset beach walks do wonders for self discovery. 

Judge me or whatever for sharing what I feel or being in touch with my emotions. 
We all need space to discuss and work through our emotions.
Life is terribly hard at the drop of a hat. 
Some times it's terribly hard in advance and it's like being locked up.
Just know what if you ever need someone to talk to about real shit, outside of topics allowed on these apps that run a lot of peoples minds, I am here to listen. 
What's just on the other side of sharing you vulnerability is a strength unknown. 
I will harness strength out of my low moments and share the strength with you.

Don't have anyone to talk to? 
Maybe you just don't want to talk..
Get a journal.
Start writing.
I find one of the best ways to relieve stress or get shit off your mind is to write, sing, or work out.
Focus on your breathing.
Make sure you're not doing things you don't want to. 
Alone time is always nice too.
Give yourself the space you need to figure out what your next steps are.

Change is good.
Stop holding on.


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